Alone
by magickal one
Summary: Song-fic. Season 4,a few days after Oz left. Willow's all alone, and having bad thoughts. "My Immortal" by Evanessence is mixed in. Please R-&-R!


A/N: This is an A.U., taking place in season 4, a few days after Oz left. Willow is still messed up, and is having bad thoughts. "My Immortal" by Evanessence is mixed in.

Willow sat alone in her dorm room. Buffy was out with Riley, Xander was with Anya, and Giles was... with Giles. She was left, all alone, to her thoughts. Oz was gone, probably forever. Although her friends were trying to be supportive, nothing was really helping the pain. Buffy kept saying it would take a while, but the pain would go away.

'What does she know. She just moved from one guy to the next.' Willow got up off the bed, and turned the lights out. She laid back down, and closed her eyes.

I'm so tired of being her

Supressed by all my

Childish fears

And if you have to leave, I wish that

You would just leave

Bcause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

A few hours later, she woke up. Glancing at the clock, Willow realized she had slept for three hours. It was two thirty, and Buffy wasn't back yet.

'She and Riley must be having fun.' She leaned over and pushed the PLAY button on the answering machine. A robotic "You have zero messages" filled the room.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that

Time cannot erase

'No one's thinking about Willow tonight. They're all _too busy_ to worry.' Willow got up and went to her magic chest. She pulled out a single white candle, and a dagger. 'Too busy to care that my heart's been ripped out, that the love of my life is gone...' She started to sob again. Her breath heaved as huge tears spilled down her face.

When you'd cry I'd wipe away

All of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away

All of your fears

And I'v held your hand through

All of these years

But you still have

All me

"Oz...oh God, Oz...Oz" Willow cried out his name between sobs. After a while, she slowly got to her feet and stumbled across the pitch black room to her nightstand. She felt around blindly untill her hands found the box of matches. She lit one, and a soft glow illuminated her face, now pale and tear streaked. She lit the candle, and searched her nightstand again for her favorite picture of Oz.

"Oz..." she softly breathed, as she lovingly touched his face.

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once plesant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

Willow sat back down on the bed, clutching the picture to her heart. She set the candle on the nightstand, and propped the picture against it. She got back up, and went to her closet. She took a box, and went back to her bed. Taking the cover off, she reached inside and started to pull out random things. A stack of pictures, a movie ticket stubb, a dried flower, a Pez Witch. Holding each with loving care, she remembered all the memories that went with each one. Images of happier times, a special movie date, a flower given with a silly bow and a kiss. Tears slowly began to fall again as she picked up the Pez Witch.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that

Time cannot erase

Willow picked up the dagger, and studdied it. It was the one she used for cutting herbs for spells. The faint aroma of mint rose up. She thought of Buffy, Xander, Giles, Riley, even Anya. Of what she would be leaving behind. Faces, memories, battles, victories, and pain. Friends, family, loved ones.

'It won't matter if I'm not here. They each have someone they can turn to. I'm just slowing them down with my pain. They'd be better off if I wasn't here, keeping them from getting on with their lives.'

I've tried so hard to tell myself

That you're gone

And though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

Willow lifted the dagger to her wrist, and cut. She gasped as blood came out, running down her arm. She cut the other wrist, and dropped the dagger, now coated in her wine colored blood. Grabing the picture of Oz and herself from against the candle, she eased back down on the bed. The box was still open next to her. Pictures lay strewn about her, the flower and Pez Witch next to the pillow.

'Now no one will worry about Willow anymore.'

"Oz...I love you...never forget me...Oz...Oz..." she breathed as she slowly fell asleep.

When you'd cry I'd wipre away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All me...


End file.
